Wednesday August 17, 2005

What does UFC have to do with Fist pumping?

By Jim (I live here)

          While sitting in class I couldn’t help but think about the great fist pumpers of all time.  I thought about posting something on the new amazing bulletin board, but after 3 classes, I feel I compiled one hell of a list by myself.  Some people think a list like this would be comprised of five maybe ten individuals, but I’m not like some people.  My list includes two gifted souls: Ric Flair and Howard Dean.  Allow me to divulge how I came to this decision.

     I was watching Spike TV’s new show The Ultimate Fighter the other night and UFC Light Heavyweight Champion Randy Couture made one hell of an assessment of what it takes to be a UFC champion.  He said that if you master just one style of fighting you will get your ass kicked in the octagon.  It doesn’t matter if you are a master of kickboxing or Brazilian jiu jitsu because if you don’t have the complete package, you’re dead.  It took me several days to understand the genius of Couture’s comments and how it applied to the art of the fist pump.  Here’s how I see it; if you are a master of the side-arm pump (an instant classic) or the “For Those About to Rock Pump”, it is impressive but you’ll never see your name mentioned in this column.  If you can some how combine the two or master the two, you’ll be a legend.  Of course, this is sometimes difficult to do since you only have two arms, so you have to improvise.  And improvise these two men have.   

     Both Flair and Dean come from the WHEW!!!! school of fist pumping, which concentrates both on the physical pump and what I refer to as the verbal fistpump.  Let’s examine these in a little more detail.

     Ric Flair is the first known master of the WHEW!!!! school.  A regular Rex Qwan Do of the fist pumping world.  He first combined the powers of the pump and the WHEW!!!! when he threw a “double cowboy” (side-arm pump with fingers in a gun position) combined with a WHEW!!!! which later became his trademark.  The Nature Boy knows that his job is to entertain every person in the arena, whether he or she (but lets be honest, it’s wrestling so most likely a guy, and not just a guy but a Comic-book Guy like guy) is in the front row or the last seat in the place.  The only way the people in the rafters can feel the same intensity from the pump as those in the front is to add a verbal WHEW!!!! The invention of the WHEW!!!! is to the fist pump as the invention of the vinyl record is to music.  For the first time ever location doesn’t matter.

     Howard Dean’s political career came to a crashing halt when he unveiled his training in the WHEW!!!! school by unleashing the “We’re going to take Oklahoma, we’re going to take New Mexico, we’re going to take….WHEW!!!! fist pump” (thanks to Grillo for the name).  Granted this pump did come from the man who is quoted as saying, "I'm not a perfect person, I have all kinds of warts."  The beauty of this pump was it was completely unexpected.  I think even he was surprised by it.  Much like Spiderman when he first realized he had the power to shoot webs.  Unfortunately for Dean, he was dressed as his alter ego: the rising political figure and not his super-pumper persona of WHEW!!!! pumper extraordinaire.  For the first time ever people thought fist pumping was a bad thing. Why can’t an expert fist pumper be president? (If you look at the Photo Page, you can see examples of fist pumping presidents and other pumpers who came up short.)  Now that John Kerry lost, the Democratic Party is starting to rethink its stance on fist pumping. Their first order of business was elevating Dean to chairman of the Party and most likely compulsory WHEW!!!! training for all its candidates.

     These two men have been an inspiration to us all.  When the Nature Boy first combined the pump and the WHEW!!!! other fist pumpers knew they were going to have to step it up from now on.  I see the sport within sports taking a path much like skateboarding after Tony Hawk ripped the 900.  Once one person does it, everyone starts doing it as if it is easy.  That’s how sports evolve.  Flair broke the barrier leading the way to Theo Fleury’s sliding pump in the ‘92 series against the Rangers and MJ’s Jump Kick Pump in the ’92 playoffs against the Cavs. As Vincent said in The Color of Money, "Maybe this game is just for 'Bangers' Eddie, but there's a lot of guys doing it. If there's a lot of guys doing it, then there's a lot of guys doing it.  A lot of guys doing it, but only ONE can be the best"

 Next week: “Who’s a better pumper? Napoleon or Kip Dynamite?”

Jim@fistpumps.com

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